What am I Doing?

The question to be answered, as the title clearly states is, what am I doing? However it doesn't strike me nearly as hard as the question burried behind it,which is why am i doing it? I took a decision to start a blog. To be honest, i don't think i fully understood what a blog is, until i read the blog of an influential person, at least to me.

So, what am i doing? I am writing down a what ever thoughts come to my head. By the time this is read, i would have posted it. Why? Why am i writing down my thoughts? It could be because i was told to keep a blog. When i come to think about it, i have always been a person who listened to people talking to me, and carefully chose what i considered important or interesting to think about. Doing so has become as involuntary as breathing. That means that at some level, i think keeping a blog is important. Why?

Being a preserved person, writing down what comes to mind is unusual. It feels good to be turning thoughts into words, but it also feels strange. Writing has always been an outlet to me. I always believed that rage, fury, and hatered had no place but in a tightly closed bottle burried deep inside the soul. I do not believe in hurting people, it is not my place. Even though people often hurt me, i stuck to my belief, and bottle up the pain and fury. That was until i was taugh dig the bottle out, and break it, so that its unwelcome content poluted my soul no more, but the pages of a notebook.

Is this blog even going to be read? Do i want it to be read? So far, no one knows that it even exists. If you are reading this right now, it means that for some reason, i want you to know what was going on in my head. This disturbs me because what i allowed people to read in the past, was only the abstract of what poured from my head. Merely a mix of thought and emotion presented in verses, mainly violent and humorous ones, a perfect presention of what stirred inside, it was say everything i wanted to say, without actually saying anything i wanted to say.


I believe the people im going to invite to read this, are people who have influenced me, continue to influence me, and i consider as people i can not live without. I dont believe its about the amount of time you spend with a person that determines whether the person is a piller in your life, but what happens in that time that is spent.

why am i keeping this blog?
Wouldn't i like to know...